status? promotoed.

yea. title says it all. im not really that much of an estatic. i went to school feeling normal and i came home feeling normal.

out for lunch with ashu and nureen, met moms and sissy and came back home together.

i ate oh-so-sinful macs and i feel very repulsed now. gosh.

i want to webcall ariel but she's out to buy food. disgusting brat.

♥ 2:28 PM

love.marriage.

"A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."The student went to the field, walked through first row, saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there will be a bigger one later.Then he saw another bigger one... But maybe there is an even bigger one waiting for him.Soon, when he finished going through more than half of the wheat field, he started to realize that the rest of the wheat weren't as big as the previous one he saw. He then knew that he had missed the biggest one and he regretted.So he ended up going back to the teacher with an empty hand.

The teacher told him, "This is love. You keep looking for a better one, but later you realise that you had already missed the best person...."

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake. When he reached the middle of the field, he picked up one medium-sized corn that he felt satisfied with, and went back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, "this time you brought back a corn. You looked for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe that this is the best one you're gonna get.This is marriage.'

true?

oh wells, gonna bathe and get my god damn results.

♥ 9:48 AM

omg! i just heard my neighbour play the guitar and he's hell of a pro. T.T

mummy said i was a stalker because i was standing at my doorway listening to him play.
daddy asked me to knock on the door to learn from him.

i cant understand how people sing and play at the same time. so much for being able to multi-task.
gosh. i just spammed youtube for guitar stuff. funneh.
note to self: i need to learn a complete song instead of the introduction only. HAHAHAHA.

-jay chou is talented mans.

♥ 9:06 PM

baking day.

♥ 6:13 PM

a day for my eyes to feast.

remember i was complaning about how tired i was and how i cant be bothered to blog since i was already so tired that i swear i would KO immediately when i hit the sacks?

amazingly I DIDNT SLEEP. major accomplishment for beatrice tan who sleeps at ten every single day since she was a kiddo, be it o levels or promos, once the clock strike tens, i sleep. period. unless its like some chalet or some outing thing.

so what happened yesterday? i was spamming the drama series hot shot. i was supposed to watch the drama since LAST YEAR. but due to the lack in time, i forgone the show and ended up watching it yesterday at ten. and i spammed the show all the way till episode 17 and i ended up sleeping at FIVE AM. for the first time, i get people wishing me goodnight-these horrid night owls like kx, aven and ariel. for the first time, i had to refrain myself from laughing because everyone is asleep.

but anyways, the main point is, i finished watching the show already and i think i found a new handsome guy for my eye to feast on. and i dont care whether you think he's good-looking but yea, he was damn cute in the show and that fella is.... JERRY YAN. muahhahaha.

okay, i kind of sound like a crazy brat going crazy over guys but yea, i havent reached that extent yet. and then, wenxi also sent me a photo of my lover boy zac efron. and omg, wu zun was in the show too. muahaha. so can you imagine how happy i was last night? no wonder i had such a good night sleep. i shall have this daily ogling session then.


no convinced?!

LOOK!

my handsome cutie+hotie number one.


handsome cutie plus hottie no.2


and this is no.3





and i honestly love wu zun's hairstyle. i think guys should totally leave long fringes pls. maybe you'll look nicer just like my loverboy.



okay, i sound like some perverted monster but aiya, who cares, they look good and are cute.
GORGEOUS!

WEEE.

i cant believe there is still I&R after OP. gosh.

i need to catch some sleep, now that the feast is over. may i dream of them!

♥ 1:21 PM

lets play a game involving codes and puzzles.


hi all. im tired.

op>home>NUH>bugis>xlb>fep>kx's place> bugis>photoshoot>tuition>home>hotshot.

fuck it. i dont think im feeling well emotionally.
its gonna be a god damn boring day given the programme-less day.

♥ 10:18 PM

tag replies

jing yi; hahhaha. yea luh!
cheryl; im fine. thanks.
reader: erm.. i walk in the sun. thats why. HAHAH
ariel: yea!! soon pls!
nureen: (:
kay: thanks!
anisah: LOL. serious.
cheyene: hmm. i dont know as well! haha(:
passerbyw: erm. no i didnt. not a fangirl anyways(:
leslie: when do i not know whats up your sleeves! XD
ariel: you play the guitar meh!!!!! tsktsk. birds of a feather flock together. HAHAHAH
mr goh: hehehe, wanna date me huh!!! hahaha, i think can. i wanna go back to BB=/
wenxi: lol. nothing interesting about my sucky life))):

♥ 2:20 PM

lets talk about friends.


do you have a friend whom you can talk freely to about anything and everything?
do you have a friend whom you place your implicit trust on?
do you have a friend whom you know will always be there for you?

or do you not believe in something called a best friend? lets not even say best. lets say good.

or do you believe that 'no one is indispensible in the world. i can make do with or without this person?'

its sadding to realise that if there is ONE thing that is growing in us, its non other then skeptism.
as we proceed from one stage to another, the guilelessness in us seem to deprecate and the negativity in us overwhelms. from guiless friendships, it soon morphed into political complications, manipulation and backstabbing.

we no longer seem to believe that true/good/best friends exists. we take everything with a pinch of salt, we accepted the 'fact' that things will change in future, we pressume that 'THAT' will eventually happen because there doesnt seem to exist a word 'forever' .

we gradually honed our skills and became great actors because we want to hide behind the shroud of complexity that is overwhelming us. we dont want others to know about our true feelings for fear of being the vitims of the melodramatic senarios that were mentioned and are-unfortunately-so common. we no longer are honest with our feelings because we dont want our weakness to be exposed, we dont want to be criticised, we dont want to be ostracised, we dont want to be identified by our true self. we dont want others to have a knack against us. we just dont want 'US' to be revealed. we hide, we lie, we brush it off and we did, pull it off.

but actually, deep down inside, there lingers this part of us who really wants to have that particular someone or a small group of people who really understands, who wouldnt push you away, who wouldnt judge you because of your actions and thinking, who woudnt 'not want to be friends with you' because of ' you'. this secretive WANT was yet again not revealed because of the yada yada that can go on and on.

then, when we meet this PERSON, this seemingly guileless person, this seemingly harmless person, we get this urge to want to say EVERYTHING, to just let it flow and spill but the whole drama-mama skeptism takes place and we dont see a need to say everything or get too attached because, ' oh well, nothing lasts forever.'

the cycle goes on and on until we lie in the wood and that is sad because, we'ld never EVERY satisfy that want of ours, that very simple wish of just finding that particular someone whom you can be truthful too.

prehaps it didnt occur to you that there still exists this group of people who arent corrupted by the malicious thinkings of others, there still exists this group of people who are pure enough to be a good listening ear/ be a good friend. and these group of people are also searching for one who is willing to be honest, one who is willing to be heard.

it would be sad to know that if these two groups of people cross paths, they would never get to truely know one another because of the skeptism and fear that reigns supreme.

how would true/good friends then exist if you never ever TRY to break down the supposedly impenetrable barrier that you ' protect' yourself with? how would you ever face up to yourself when everything is just kept to yourself in the very first place? how would you identify your true friends when what your friends have accepted is nothing but a first class actor?

sad isnt it?

the fear of judgement, the fear of loss, the fear of overcoming hurdles thickens that barriers from finding out whatever that is neccessary to make your life more genuine. is there a neccessity to be led by the 'trends of society' that is forcing you to hide yourself in the shroud?

then i would just like to ask, what are you living for?
i doubt you can find the answer yourself.

friends are there to listen, to support you and to offer you comfort.
there isnt a need to hide away because you dont see any co-relation about your life and theirs.
friends are intertwined because of the concern they have about each others lives. much as you may be concerned about their well-being, they are concerned about yours too.
so what if they cant do anything about the situation, the very least they could do if to offer you the support and comfort that they are able to offer.
so what if your problems brings them a tinge of unhappiness? it jsut goes to show that they are truely concerned.

why be someone you THINK your friend wants you to be.
why hide from what you know you want to be.
why be fearful of the judgement others pass?
those who accept your true self are the ones worthy of concern and remembrance isnt it?

to the hell to those who dont accept. just dont act, dont hide, because you'll be losing those sincere bongbongs who cross your path.

i wouldnt say im not skeptical. sometimes i am.
but i follow my heart and be myself with the people my heart tells me to.

♥ 1:40 PM

discontent? or just pms?

it sucks to pull a sulky face all day. it sucks to be feeling down because it feels horrible.

everything that may not be that bad just looks extremely bad somehow and you cant seem it in a better light for nuts.

its worse when you start to feel very sensitive over the slightest stuff that can happen.

roar)))))))))))));

♥ 1:02 PM

school

ahh. i dont know what im doing in school everyday.

presentation, presentations and more presentations for OP. that is a bore because i feel like im wasting my time coming to school, stoning doing nothing related to PW at all.

sigh. i need the spark in my life again pls.

♥ 11:24 AM

in school now. school's being a bore.

have been PW-ing the whole day. got training later on. how great. i feel so tired. i wanna leave.

♥ 1:27 PM